Skip to content Skip to sidebar Skip to footer
Menu
Menu
Interviews News

LIFE NOT GRIM, WITH FAKEGRIMLOCK

May 2, 2017

FAKEGRIMLOCK is something of folk lore in my house. It’s a human who pretends to be a fake dinosaur who writes constantly and potently with the frankness we all desire in life. My kids will probably grow up knowing what “speaking as GRIM” means in our house. Basically, it sounds like me speaking with voice immodulation syndrome.

GRIM is an avatar, a name, a persona, and a really well executed digital personality. By all means, GRIM is an identity born and beholden only to the internet and the reputation created by it.

Although perhaps not from “the middle” as we’ve focused our stories so far, it’s hard not to feel like FAKEGRIMLOCK embodies all of us, regardless of where we call home, as he’s made his home the internet. And as it states on his Twitter profile: WRITE CODE, DRINK COFFEE, KICK ASS.

BPM: Do you think geography matters in a startup?

FG: YES. PRETTY HARD TO START UP IN ANTARCTICA. NO STARBUCKS ANYWHERE. YOU FOUNDER? YOUR JOB MAXIMIZE CHANCE YOU WIN. LOCATION ONE WAY TO DO THAT.

RIGHT LOCATION HAVE 2 THINGS:

1. NEAR RIGHT PEOPLE. NOT CLOSE TO RIGHT HIRES? GROW TOO HARD. NOT CLOSE TO RIGHT MENTORS? LEARN TOO HARD. NOT CLOSE TO RIGHT PARTNERS? GET OPPORTUNITIES TOO HARD. NOT CLOSE TO OTHER AWESOME TECH PEOPLE? GET LUCKY TOO HARD. SERENDIPITY NOT JUST FANCY WORD. MANY STARTUPS WIN BECAUSE MET RIGHT PERSON AT RIGHT TIME. YOU WHERE RIGHT PEOPLE NOT? NO SERENDIPITY FOR YOU.

2. NEAR RIGHT MARKET. WALK OUTSIDE. IF PEOPLE YOU SEE NOT CUSTOMERS, YOU IN WRONG PLACE. PRODUCT MARKET FIT REQUIRE UNDERSTAND MARKET. THAT EASIER IF LIVE IN IT.

BPM: Will you tell me a joke?

FG: WHY CHICKEN CROSS ROAD? THERE NO REASON! IT JUST CHICKEN.

BPM: Your avatar is dinosaur based? They died. It’s not really your MO. Why dino?

FG: IF YOU NO UNDERSTAND WHAT AWESOME ABOUT GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR, ME NO CAN EXPLAIN IT TO YOU. BECAUSE YOU DEAD INSIDE.

BPM: Tell me all of your opinions about politics.

FG: A. MAKE WORLD BETTER FOR MOST PEOPLE.

B. DO THINGS THAT WORK.

C. YOU DECIDE WHO YOU ARE, NOT WHO ANYONE ELSE IS. EVERYTHING ELSE PRETTY EASY TO FIGURE OUT FROM THERE.

BPM: Why do companies die?

FG: RUN OUT OF MONEY. WHY RUN OUT OF MONEY? NOT SELL THING PEOPLE WANT, OR NOT MAKE PROFIT FROM IT. FIND THING PEOPLE WANT TO PAY YOU MONEY FOR. THEN LET THEM.

BPM: What doesn’t matter?

FG: THERE 3 THINGS IN LIFE.

– THINGS THAT HELP YOU WIN.
– THINGS THAT GET IN WAY.
– THINGS THAT NOT MATTER.

NOT KNOW WHICH ONES WHICH WHY MOST PEOPLE MEDIOCRE. NO BE LIKE THEM!

BPM: What’s the best idea that’s died because of bad execution?

FG: DEMOCRACY TRYING REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW.

BPM: Do you think it matters where a company is built?

FG: SEE QUESTION ONE.

BPM: What is the most important thing?

FG: BEING AWESOME.

BPM: Why do you think so many people confuse automation with AI ?

FG: BECAUSE THEM DUMB. COMPLICATED IDEA NO FIT IN MOST HUMAN BRAIN. AVERAGE PERSON BARELY UNDERSTAND DAILY LIFE. YOU WANT THEM UNDERSTAND DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MACHINE THAT DO THINGS ON OWN AND MACHINE THAT THINK ABOUT THINGS ON OWN? THEM STOPPED AT “MACHINE.”

BPM: Bonus question, how many books did you sell while being anon?

FG: 1131 DIGITAL, 921 PHYSICAL PLUS 50 MORE ON GUMROAD SINCE THEN.

Whoever you are, Fake Grimlock, thanks for the frankness.

Ben Milne is a co-founder of Clay & Milk and the founder of Dwolla, a technology company in Des Moines.

1 Comment

  • Glen Hellman
    Posted May 2, 2017 at 4:40 pm

    Thanks for bringing this bad bouly back to life. I’ve missed the active Fake Grimlock.

    0Likes

Comments are closed.

LIFE NOT GRIM, WITH FAKEGRIMLOCK | Clay & Milk
A central Iowa ag-tech accelerator has secured more backers and finally has a name. The Greater Des Moines Partnership first announced the accelerator last year, naming four initial investors. On Monday, the Partnership said the program will be called the "Iowa AgriTech Accelerator" and named three new investors. The new investors include Grinnell Mutual, Kent Corp. and Sukup Manufacturing, all Iowa companies. They join investors Deere & Co., Peoples Co., Farmers Mutual Hail Insurance Co. and DuPont Pioneer. Each investor has agreed to put up $100,000 for the first year of the accelerator. Startups entering the program will receive $40,000 in seed funding in exchange for 6 percent equity. Tej Dhawan, an angel investor and local startup mentor, is serving as interim director until the AgriTech Accelerator names a permanent leader. Dhawan held a similar role with the GIA before Brian Hemesath was named as managing director. As interim director, Dhawan said his main job includes hiring the accelerator's executive director, establishing a business structure and initial recruiting for the first cohort. The accelerator will place few filters, such as location and product, on the applicant pool, Dhawan said. "When you’re seeking innovation, innovation can come from every corner of the world so why restrict ourselves," he said. One area the the AgriTech Accelerator won't recruit from is biotech. For its first cohort, the AgriTech Accelerator will work out of the GIA's space in Des Moines' East Village, Dhawan said. A future, permanent home is still to be decided. The accelerator's program will host startups from mid-July through mid-October, ending with an event connected to the annual World Food Prize. The GIA, which the AgriTech Accelerator is based on, also ends with presentations at an industry event. The accelerator has also started lining up a mentor pool. The Iowa Corn Growers Association, Iowa Soybean Association and the Iowa Pork Producers Association have agreed to provide mentors, as has Iowa State University. While the AgriTech Accelerator is loosely based off of the GIA, it will differ in its business structure, Dhawan said. The GIA runs through a for-profit model for both operations and its investment fund. The AgriTech Accelerator will have a nonprofit model for its operations and a for-profit setup for its fund. Dhawan said the nonprofit model is being used so the accelerator can better work with other nonprofit partners, such as trade associations. "These are all organizations that are nonprofits and can be amazing stakeholders without ever having to be investors in the accelerator," he said. "It becomes easier to work with trade associations in their nonprofit role when we are also a nonprofit." When it's up and running, the AgriTech Accelerator would be one of a handful of ag-focused startup development programs in Iowa. Others include the Ag Startup Engine out of Iowa State University and the Rural Ventures Alliance from Iowa MicroLoan. Matthew Patane is the managing editor and co-founder of Clay & Milk. Send him an email at mpatane@clayandmilk.com.
This Pop-up Is Included in the Theme
Best Choice for Creatives
Purchase Now